I lust. I greed. I hate. I anger. I envy. I worry. I’m lazy. I’m prideful. I fear. I’m self-righteous. I am a hypocrite. And I try really hard to keep you from knowing these things about me. I go to church. I pray. I attend Bible Study, where I reveal small snippets of how awful I truly am, just enough to make me feel (and look) like I am a humble person. I teach my kids about God. I do the Right Thing. Most people would say I am a Good Person. But am I really? If at my core I continue to sin, over and over again, sometimes doing so quite intentionally. Even when I am trying not to sin, my motivation to do so is often sinful. It is so entrenched in me that I don’t even know or understand the true depths of my own depravity. I have completely lost control over my sinful behavior, if I ever had any to begin with. I am ashamed.
I am not alone.
What a revolution we would see in the church today, if we would all stop trying to hide the truth about ourselves. What if we take a note from Alcoholics Anonymous, and admit that we are completely powerless over our sinful behavior? What if every Christian completed the 12 steps, and met several times each week to confess new and old sins to one another? What if we were honest–with each other and with ourselves? Imagine the great burden that would be lifted simply from no longer pretending. From learning that we aren’t alone in our duplicity and shame. From being utterly and completely humbled in the face of our darkest secrets revealed. Imagine how we could impact the world from such a place of openness, humility, genuine love and acceptance. What would it be like if we robbed the King of Lies of his greatest tool and let honesty reign in us–at all costs? Would we finally get a taste of holiness? Would we become that City on a Hill that shines as a welcoming beacon to the darkness beyond? Would the world finally see Christianity not as an intimidating group of self-righteous hypocrites, but as a warm and welcoming deliverer of Truth and Salvation?
“’Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.’” Matthew 11:28-30
I am tired of complicating things. My name is Jayna, and I am a Sin Addict.
Another article by Jayna Pyke about regret here http://www.rochestermedia.com/the-power-of-regret/