Dear Crabby, What’s the Point of Trick-or-Treating?

Dear Crabby, I don’t know where October has gone, but my calendar tells me that next week is Halloween. So, now I need to go out and buy candy for the neighborhood rugrats. Remind me: what's the purpose of trick-or-treating? Thanks! Samantha Sucre Dear Samantha Sucre, What’s the point of trick-or-treating? Pretty sure it’s the fact that kids get a pillowcase full of candy that weighs more than them, and for one night only, their moms and dads don’t seem to care. As a parent, the … [Read more...]

Dear Crabby, How Do Hurricanes Get Their Names?

Dear Crabby, Is it just me or are there more hurricanes than normal lately? It seems like they used to be a rare occurrence, but now I hear about them almost every night on the news. And it got me wondering… how do hurricanes get their names? Thanks. Gail Storm Dear Gail Storm, I have to agree with you. Hurricanes have been relentless this year. The devastation Harvey, Irma, and Maria have caused is just staggering. And then I read some people that were affected by Harvey in Texas … [Read more...]

Dear Crabby, Why Are People Obsessed with ‘Fixer Upper?’

Dear Crabby, My wife is obsessed with the home improvement show Fixer Upper. So, you can imagine how devastated she was when she heard the news it’s ending after this season. Of course, I have no idea why she’s taking it so personally. I mean it’s not like we’re friends with Joanna and Chip Gaines. Can you figure it out? Thanks! Luke Lumbersome Dear Luke Lumbersome, A less, ahem, cultured man than myself would have no clue what you’re talking about, but thanks to Mrs. Crabby and my … [Read more...]

Dear Crabby, Where’s the Best Cider Mill in Southeast Michigan?

Dear Crabby, Now that fall sorta feels like it’s here, I was wondering if you have a favorite cider mill you could recommend. Thanks, Paul Pomme Dear Paul Pomme, Gee, pal. Are you looking to get me into trouble? Michiganders take their cider mills pretty seriously and showing favoritism could cost me some fans. Then again, when have I ever cared what people think about me? While I haven’t been to every cider mill in southeast Michigan, I will tell you where you go all comes down to … [Read more...]

Dear Crabby, Are you a Writer or a Blogger?

Dear Crabby, Are you a Writer or a Blogger? Sincerely, John Penn   Dear Mr. Penn, You know I like to give short answers first, then go into detail to answer, and then bring it back around to leave you wondering if I actually answered the question you asked. While that's fun and all, let me start with the long answer first. A writer is underpaid, up late, up early, forgets daily routines, and crafts words into magical flows of sounds linked together with thoughts and grammar. … [Read more...]

Dear Crabby, What’s Up with Jim Carrey?

Dear Crabby, What's Up with Jim Carrey? Sincerely, Fannie Funny   Ms. Funny, I'm sure you're referring to the craziness that flowed out his mouth during an interview at New York's Fashion Week, where actor/comedian Jim Carrey spoke about how there really wasn't a Jim Carrey and "there are just things happening ..." I had to look this up to answer your question, I don't watch that kind of TV. Anywho, I could tell you he's a comedian, and that should explain it. Or, I could … [Read more...]

Dear Crabby, Can a Terrible Two Toddler be Locked Up?

Dear Crabby, Do you think the jailer would lock up my "terrible two toddler," No really ... please? Sincerely Kelsey   Dear Kelsey, All parents go through this ... and back in my time, many parents "locked up" their kids. Of course, those were different times. I know a couple that used to lock their kid in his room - the lock was on the outside of the door - so he wouldn't bother them at night ... they claimed "the crying would eventually stop." That kid is now a teenager, … [Read more...]

Dear Crabby, Should I Let My Husband Retire?

Dear Crabby, My dear hubby is talking about retiring in the near future. Heck, I just got rid of the kids. I know he’s going to walk around strumming his guitar for two weeks, then be bored out of his mind. Any suggestions for me so I don’t lose mine? Signed, not ready for a full time husband   Dear Not Ready, This is a common issue that many wives have. The best thing you can do is not let him retire. That may sound mean, but it may just save your marriage. Unless he is … [Read more...]

Dear Crabby, Do I Really Need a New Driver’s License?

Dear Crabby, I heard a rumor floating around that Michigan residents will need a new driver’s license to board planes, go into federal buildings, and such. Is this really necessary? Thanks! June Sample Dear June Sample, Is it necessary? Eh. I think that could be open for debate, but people need to stop acting like the idea has come out of the blue. This hullabaloo all started back in 2005 when Congress passed the REAL ID Act. It was put into action based on the recommendation from … [Read more...]

Dear Crabby, Do I Need My Gallbladder?

Dear Crabby, After several bouts of pain, my doc says it’s finally time for my gallbladder to come out. What do you think? Should I have the surgery or do you think my doc is just trying to get money from my insurance? Thanks! Gal Stone Dear Gal Stone, You say you’ve had several bouts of pain? Lord knows I’ve never been accused of being a smart man (that’s why I married Mrs. Crabby), but how many more bouts of pain will it take before you’re convinced your gallbladder needs to hit … [Read more...]